Gone
by Mo-Mantai
Summary: Tai tries unsuccessfully to deal with the fact that Sora has moved on without him. N*SYNC songfic.


**Gone**

_There's a thousand words that I could say to make you  
come home, yeah  
Seems so long ago you walked away and left me alone  
And I remember what you said to me, you were acting  
so strange  
And maybe I was to blind to see that you needed a  
change_  
  
I don't usually dwell on the past because they say that everything that happens, happens for a reason. I believe it in most cases, but this is not like most cases. I can't seem to think of any reason that Sora left me for Matt, my best friend of all people. I haven't got the slightest clue about what I did to push her away. I loved her with all of my heart. Could it be that I loved her too much. Is it possible for love to push someone away? I didn't think it was possible. I never thought that there was such a thing as too much love. I had always believed that a person could never enough, but I guess I was wrong.  
  
I guess it is possible that I was blinded by my love for her. Maybe I was so much in love that I didn't realize that she was falling out of love with me. Maybe I did see it and I just refused to acknowledge what was happening. I can't believe that she felt the need to leave. I loved her so much. She was my life.  
  
_Was it something I said to make you turn away  
To make you walk out and leave me cold  
If I could just find a way to make it so that you were  
right here, right now_  
  
If I said anything at all to make her angry, to make her love go away and leave me cold and longing, just tell me what it is and I'll take it back. I never meant to hurt her. I would never do it knowingly. I would do anything to make you her me again, to make her come back. I long for her touch, to feel her arms around me, to kiss her tender lips. If only she would give me another chance, I would never make her feel like she needed to leave ever again. I promise. Just come back to me.  
  
_I've been sitting here  
Can't get you off my mind  
I'm tryin' my best to be a man and be strong  
I drove myself insane wishing I could touch your face  
But the truth remains, you're  
Gone_  
  
I don't know why I can't seem to forget about us. I sit here and I keep allowing my mind to wonder to thoughts of you, Sora. I'm trying to get over it. I'm a good looking guy and it would be no problem to go out and find somebody new, someone who is able to handle all the love that I long to give, but your smiling face is constantly flashing across my eyes. I reach out to touch you and then remember that you are not really there. Your with Matt now, your love belongs to him, not me. The truth, although it is hard for me to handle, is that you're gone.  
  
_Now I don't wanna make excuses baby  
Won't change the fact that you're gone  
But if there's something that I could do, won't you please let me know  
The time is passing so slowly now, guess that's my life  
without you  
And maybe I could change my everyday, but baby I  
don't want to_  
  
You know that I'm not one to beg. I'll be the first to admit that my ego is way too big for me to do that, but if there is ever anything that I can give you, if there is anything at all that I can do, just say the word and I'm there. I know that I sound desperate now, but I can't help it. We may no longer be lovers, even though I want it to be so, but it doesn't mean that we can't still be friends. We've grown up together and I will always be there for you, just like I was when we were kids. I loved you then, as much as I love you know, but I know that I have to let go. There is nothing else that I can do.  
  
I remember always wanting to savour every moment with you, to make every second last forever, but every day would end so fast and I always felt that there was never enough time do everything I wanted to do and say everything that I wanted to say to you. I always felt rushed through the day. Now, it's like time has stopped. The world is going on around me, but I'm stuck in the exact same place. I know that I have to get over it, that the world will keep changing and I will be left behind. I know that I have to move on, but I don't want to. I don't think I can ever get on with my life knowing that you are never coming back. Life without you would just be too weird for me to handle.  
  
_So I'll just hang around and find some things to do  
To take my mind off missing you  
And I know in my heart, you can't say that you don't love me too  
Please say you do, yeah_  
  
Don't get me wrong, it's not like I'm helpless. I haven't become a hermit. I've been out to play soccer with Davis and Ken a few times. Playing soccer seems to ease my mind. The feeling of rushing down the field with the wind blowing through my hair feels great, but it's only a substitute and really, nothing can substitute for you. Nothing will ever be able to fill in the gap that has formed since you left and I know that deep down inside, that gap exists for you too. I know that no one, not even Matt, can love you as much as I loved you, as much as I still do. I meant too much to you for you to forget that we ever were. At least, I hope that you do. Matt could never be my substitute. Could he?  
  
_I've been sitting here  
Can't get you off my mind  
I'm tryin' my best to be a man and be strong  
I drove myself insane wishing I could touch your face  
But the truth remains, you're  
Gone_  
  
That's it! I can't take it anymore. I am going crazy without you. It's an addiction that I need to feed. You are my drug and I am going through withdrawal. Without you I am likely to shrivel up and die. I need a support group or something. Hi, I'm Taichi Kamiya and I'm a Soraholic. Do you see what your doing to me? Don't you care? I know you do, so just come back. That's all it will take to make all of this hurt, this suffering to cease.  
  
_What will I do if I can't be with you  
Tell me where will I turn to, baby who will I be  
Now that we are apart, am I still in your heart?  
Baby why can't you see that I need you here with me?_  
  
Without you I'm nothing. It was you who helped shape me. You were my rock, my support. I am now nothing but a hallow shell, crumbling under the weight of the world. You are my everything! Why can't I still be yours?  
  
_I've been sitting here  
Can't get you off my mind  
I'm tryin' my best to be a man and be strong  
I drove myself insane wishing I could touch your face  
But the truth remains, you're  
Gone_  
  
The truth remains you're gone and without you, I am nothing. The truth is that I will never stop loving you. I will never get over you. The truth is that I don't think that Matt can fulfill your needs as well as I can. The truth it that I want to die. The truth is that I have to move on, because the truth is that you're gone.  
  
**The End  
~MPF  
  
**


End file.
